Premise: A super Intelligent, Psychic, Ultra Pissed, revenge driven giant killer plastic great white shark with amazing jumping abilities seeks vengeance for the murder of his shark brothers at the hands of the Brody’s.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093300/
The Jaws music, this is probably the only good thing about the movie.
I never thought I’d want the little kid from the first Jaws movie to die so badly
The youngest Brody son is going out into the water to un-jam a log. I can tell where this is going.
Oh, the shark ate him. I did not see that coming. Contrary to what I say above. I actually thought something completely different was going to happen. I am genuinely surprised.
Did the shark jam the log itself to lure him out onto the water and if so how did the shark know he was a deputy and that the other deputy was out investigating cow tippers so that deputy Brody would be the one to have to go un-jam the log? And if it didn’t jam the log itself how did it know that it was Brody on the boat? This shark sure does his homework, either that or he’s psychic…or both. Ok, I’m scared now. A psychic, super intelligent, huge, raging great white isn’t something you fuck around with
“Sharks don’t commit murder” Apparently you’ve not seen Jaws 1-3.
Lorraine Gray is reprising her role as Ellen Brody and Lance “the bearded wonder” Guest is playing the eldest Brody sibling.
This priest is such an annoying prick
Oh god…Michael Cain…WHY!?!?!?!?!
Lorraine Gary got eaten by a dream shark. If only this was real I wouldn’t have to sit through the rest of the movie.
Why is he putting tracking devices on sea snails? I don’t think they move around all that much. I must admit, I’m no seasnailologist, but come on, it’s a fucking snail. Come back in a week it’ll be like, what, a foot away? Maybe two, tops.
Mario van Peebles: YES! Mario Van Peebles with a fake Jamaican accent: HELL YES!
The shark is attacking Lance Guest’s boat. So this shark swam from New England to Jamaica in how long? I guess this shark is also able to swim with super bursts of speed as well. This is shaping up to be one hell of a formidable raging shark! Its list of super-powers keeps on growin an a’ growin. Like a normal huge great white isn’t bad enough.
Lorraine Gray and the shark seem to have some kind of a mental connection. See! I told you he was psychic!
Oh, boats bleed now apparently. Makes sense I guess.
Amazing how the FX were better in the first one even though it was made 12 years prior. And the FX weren’t even good in the first one.
I would just like to state, for the record, I hate every character in this movie.
I’m confused again. Why is this shark so pissed? Was the original shark a friend of his? A relative? Or is it written in the secret great white shark tribal code that any man who kills a great white will have his whole family stalked and murdered just out of principle?
God, Jamaican accents piss me off
“I’ve always wanted to make love to an angry welder. I’ve dreamed of nothing else since I was a small boy”
My God! I thought I was the only one!
I don’t understand how the shark can jump half way out of the water and stay erect like that for an extended period of time. I’m also having a hard time grasping the extent of this sharks psychic powers and super intelligence.
I can’t believe I used to like this movie. If I could I’d kick my 7 year old self’s ass.
So whose revenge is it exactly? The sharks or Lorraine Gray’s?
How is it that this shark can swim from New England to Jamaica in a couple of days but he can’t catch up to a scuba diver?
Another thing I fail to understand is this; both of the Brody kids survived three horrific shark attacks yet one gets a job as a boat cop on an island and the other gets a job as a marine biologist. Now I could understand this after one shark attack, maybe even two, but after three shark attacks I would take the fucking hint: sharks don’t like you, stay out of the fucking ocean!
It would be cool if the shark came up from behind and swallowed the whole banana boat from end to end.
And once again the shark proves that his greatest super power of all is… his super thirst for vengeance!
The Showdown to end all showdowns. Middle aged widow v. 40-foot long aquatic death machine.
Pilot: “there’s a giant killer shark in the water, and we’re in a plane up in the sky. It has become evident to me, after much deliberation, that the best course of action for us to take in out current situation is to crash INTO the water for no reason. How about it, partner?”
Co-Pilot: “…that doesn’t make any sense. Won’t the shark eat us?”
Retard Pilot: “Most likely!”
Co-Pilot: “But…I don’t wanna get eated by a shark, Steve!”
Pilot: “…”
Co-Pilot: “Steve?”
It seems as though Michael Cain has perfected a technique that enables him to keep his clothes dry while swimming in the ocean. I could have used some of that last time I had to swim for my life from a giant killer vengeance seeking raging mad super intelligent seemingly psychic great white shark but NO! He’s holding out on us, that whore.
And now for the final showdown
This shark consistently amazes with his incredible jumping ability. Not to mention his psychic powers.
No Mario Van Peebles!! NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!
Now I understand why this time it’s personal… because it killed Mario Van Peebles! That filthy vag!
So the plan is to drive it crazy by setting off an electrical signal from inside its body. Genius! Actually! It’s not! What the fuck is going on!?
Waaaaiiiitttt a minute… If the plan was to drive it mad by setting off electrical signals from within its body, then why…did it…explode? Oh God! I’m so confused! Maybe it used its psychic powers to explode it’s own body?
Wow. What an emotionally charged climax. I could actually hear the pain, and anger in the sharks dinosaur like guttural death roar.
Mario Van Peebles is alive! YES! YES! YES! In Your Face, Shark!!! IN YOUR FILTHY FUCKING FACE! Nothing can kill Mario van Peebles! NOHING! Even Wesley Snipes couldn’t!
No! Don’t be over! Not so soon! Come back! Please!
Well that was fun.
